How to listen
One of my favorite things about the practice of sound healing is how helps us learn how to listen. Not just hear — but really listen with our whole being.
Listening and hearing are quite different. When we’re really listening, there is a certain emptiness and anticipation in the mind as we attempt to receive, and know what is coming in. When we’re hearing, we may receive sounds — but our mind is usually focused someplace else; often on our own thoughts, reactions, agendas, plans and projections.
The key difference here is attention.
The word “attention” is defined as directing the mind to listen, see or understand. In fact, the shorter word '‘attend” means “to listen” in French. So when we are really and truly listening, we are offering our attention — our desire to receive and understand something outside ourselves.
Quality of attention really matters.
One of the many gifts of the field of quantum physics (notable scientists of this field include Albert Einstein, Fritjof Capra, David Bohm, Werner Heisenberg) was the discovery of the observer effect. In the observer effect, it was found that quanta — the vibrational waves that make up everything in existence including material particles like atoms — could not be accurately measured. Why?
Because whenever quantum waves were viewed, or observed, their position or behavior would change. As such, it became known that the act of observation itself altered the appearance and behavior of the quanta.
In real-world speak, this means that the quality of how you think about the world around you really effects what you see, and can impact how it behaves.
If we connect the insights of the observer effect with the concepts of listening vs. hearing, we can easily see the difference in how an experience might play out depending on whether it’s being approached through high quality attention or not.
In summary, listening tends to invite the possibility for connection beyond the self while hearing alone tends to miss the opportunity to include anyone but the self.
An echo chamber for one
When we’re only hearing, but not listening, we tend to be wrapped up in our own “noise” so to speak — even if we aren’t actively speaking. Of course we know that when we speak we generate sound, but thoughts and feelings are sonic, vibrational energies too. Even without making an audible sound, the pressure waves of your thought and feeling energy are making impacts in and around you. And your body is continually sensing the impact of these pressure waves even if your ears don’t.
You’ve probably experienced this first hand. Think of times you’ve been in conversation with someone and all the right words were being said, but something about the communication or the situation didn’t seem quite right. Your ears, of course, were hearing the audible language which may have seemed perfectly fine, but your entire energy field was “listening” to other, subtler, non-audible vibrational waves too. Vibrational waves of the other person’s thought and feeling energy, vibes of the place and time, even vibes within yourself as your energy continuously responded to the words and sound signals around you. If you were sensing something ‘off,’ you may have been “hearing” a dissonance between what was said and any of these various other signals being emitted and received.
How is this possible? Receptors on our cell membranes — like microscopic antennae — pick up on the quality and frequency of sonic vibrations being emitted around us. As the different signals are picked up and received by the cells, this kicks off a biochemical reaction within the body where it helps determine what feeling state the body needs to be in.
Of course, this can be a gift! We need activation of those vibrations to let us know when action is needed, or when a situation may not be quite ‘right.’ Our fight or flight instinct is a great example of this, and it can be a life saver. Though sometimes — with so much going on energetically — it can be difficult to parse the signals, or to understand where the source of any sensed disharmony lies. We might be certain that the source of disharmony lies with another, but may be surprised to discover that it’s actually a disharmony within ourselves that we’re projecting on people and experiences around us.
Harmony and the art of tuning in
Most appreciate the stabilizing comfort and connection that a sense of harmony brings — but we struggle to know how to cultivate it within ourselves or with others.
Harmony is not an easy concept in a culture that conditions us — more or less — to be preoccupied with our individual image, credit and success. As individuals in modern times we often desire, or feel great pressure to be seen, heard, and validated. In short, we’re trained to stand out and be seen as important.
As such, we tend to be stuck in habitual states of pushing and projecting our individual agendas and opinions — trying to get out in front of the pack. But in doing so, we run the risk of being a bit tone-deaf to anything other than our own mental noise. Particularly during those times that we’re stuck in denser, lower frequency thoughts and emotions like stress, frustration, anxiety, fear, resentment, self-righteousness, judgment or criticism. The pressure of these crisis-like energies puts quite a heavy load onto ourselves and others and often leads to more fragmentation and disharmony.
Harmony can’t be attained by loudly projecting a signal and expecting others to tune up to us. If everyone did this, there would be cacophony. Instead, harmony starts with listening. It’s about suspending the need to act and project in order to first tune-in to the broad array of signals that surround you. Once you’ve listened to the quality and context that surrounds you, then you can carefully choose how you want to join in in a balanced way. The pursuit of harmony is never done or fixed. It’s an art that must be continually maintained through connection, listening and tuning.
Listening, tuning-in and harmonizing was a core lesson in music school — and not always an easy one (for myself included). Following along with general modern culture, when you’re a musician you often long to stand out and have the ability to be a soloist. But a core part of music school training is ensemble. In ensemble, your first priority is to blend in. If you did stand out, that usually meant you were doing something wrong.
If you go to a symphony, the orchestra always tunes to the 1st chair violinist’s A pitch. This happens before any piece is played, and it often happens more than once. This is to make sure the collective group is in communal resonance before they begin playing their individual instruments. Even when they do begin playing individually, the goal of their playing is to create a harmonious, collective tapestry of sound. Only occasionally are certain instrumentalists meant to stand out from the collective. This doesn’t mean that the individuals don’t matter — on the contrary, each individual must do their utmost to keep the whole symphony beautiful and balanced. But to maintain the symphony’s connection and balance, they must listen to the whole as much as, if not more so than they listen to themselves.
Your entire being can be considered a symphony of sorts. You are a marvelous collection of energies both subtle and material. Yet all of these energies are in concert with one another and striving towards harmony to create you: the material energies of your physical body, subtle energies of your emotions, thoughts, spiritual connection and insight. Just as a symphony tunes itself before any part begins to play, it is key to practice tuning into yourself and the full scope of your energy before you attempt to play the concert of your day.
Meditation as listening
Meditation is often recommended as a tool to help people come into this state of unity and harmony. But meditation can feel confusing for an early practitioner because of the way it’s often defined. Many think of meditation as “clearing the mind” or “stopping thoughts,” and within our culture that exalts a busy, driving mind — we often don’t know what this direction means.
Many get frustrated with themselves as they shove aside the inevitable thoughts that arise and feel their stress, anxiety and self-criticsm spike certain that they’re “doing it wrong.” Others may simply think meditation makes no sense. They may wonder “If I’m not thinking what am I supposed to be doing?”
The answer is, listening.
Meditation is essentially an act of deep listening. It’s a practice that teaches us how to cultivate that open, receptive attentive state mentioned earlier. It’s not as much about “stopping thought” as it’s about expanding awareness beyond thought. Meditation creates spaciousness. It allows the mind to be what it is, but it expands conscious awareness to include so much more. Meditation practice helps you recognize, affirm and reaffirm that there’s a whole world to connect with that goes beyond the limited confines of your mind.
Morning practice
Waking up in the morning can be a wonderful opportunity to practice the art of meditation and tuning in. Too often, mornings or waking can feel like a struggle. Usually, this is because we already feel the noise of our mental energy blaring at us (in addition to the alarm clock). Agendas and anxieties for the day often drive us crustily and crabbily out of bed. This aggressive, mental sonic assault from the moment we re-enter the waking state is dreadful.
But it doesn’t have to be this way. What if we switched from seeing our waking selves, moments and mornings from something that must be ‘pushed,’ ‘seized’ or ‘attacked’ — like an offensive take over — to something that can be entered gently with a sense of wonder and curiosity. Something to tune into and harmonize with — just like the symphony — before we choose to play.
This liminal time just after waking can be an ideal opportunity to offer our attention to the everyday comforts that hold us, often without our notice. We can remain lying in whatever soft space we find ourselves, keep our minds soft in that still dreamlike state and purposefully tune into the frequencies of calm, comfort, stability and peace we enjoy in this twilight time.
It is profoundly healing to actively attend to the comforting assurance of wider forces around us. The stable earth and its elements beneath and within the body, the soft spaces that support us, the fresh air continually flowing in and around us, the sun, moon or starlight that illuminate and shower us with healing rays that we may or may not see. Inviting your energy to entrain with these forces, and vice versa, draws these healing frequencies closer to you, connecting you to something larger and more ancient than yourself.
Through the observer effect mentioned earlier, we know that how we observe — or attend — to our experience impacts the way it unfolds. So by starting the day with this kind of meditative practice, we’ve established the baseline from where we’ll meet and greety everything else.
Try it for yourself
In the morning, rather than allowing your mental noise frequencies to pressure and push you and others into a frenzy first thing after waking, take a few moments to lie where you are. Listen with your whole body. Offer your attention to the comfort and support you feel. If you don’t feel comfortable, allow yourself to move to a position where you feel comfortable. Once you’re feeling cozy and held, offer your attention to the gratitude you feel for that comfort and support. Offer your attention to your own felt-sense of well-being. Offer your attention to any memories of pleasant dreams, or thoughts of loved ones. Offer your attention to any noises that you hear. If you hear no noises, offer your attention to the peace that fills the room.
Sometimes, without actual noises or thoughts to listen for, the mind becomes hungry for direction. If this happens, simply say to yourself “I am listening,” (you can repeat that as much as you need to). Then, try again to tune in to the present moment and see if it’s deepened any sensations within or around you.
Practicing this, we reaffirm that listening, and sound is a multi-faceted felt experience. Sound is so much more than something your ears ‘hear.’ Listening is so much more than verbal, audible give and take. True listening is done with the whole body and field of energy. Sound is felt in every energetic level of your being.
Listening at depth allows you to connect in a much more meaningful and heart-felt way with yourself and the world around you. And the power of the discerning mind, rather than being a noisy, bossy authoritarian that can fragment you from yourself or others, can instead be channeled to harmonize your inner and outer symphony with great attention and intention.
Sound Self Care
